I’m officially 30 and I feel like my 20s have taught me so many lessons. I’ve been sooo excited to turn 30 because I know they are literally going to be the BEST years of my life.
As I get older a common trend in my life has been to continually evolve and grow in all aspects of my life. Being that this has been something that I really strive to do, I felt that it would be fitting to share some of what I have learned in my 20s. Now this can be completely relatable to all age groups but I feel like I really grew a TON in my 20s.
1. No one can make you happy but yourself
This is something many misconceive. They feel like someone else or something is going to make you happy and that is so far from the truth. YOU are the only person that can truly make YOU happy. If you’re not happy with yourself, no one or nothing will be able to make you happy. Put yourself first and understand exactly what makes you happy.
2. You can't control other people but you can control how you react.
There have been and still are times in which unideal situations arise. Although we cannot control others, we can control how we react to these situations we find ourselves in. Take a step back and evaluate the situation rather than going full force at it which you may likely say or do something you will regret.
3. The people that love you the most will support you the least.
I know what you are thinking…..but it’s not what you think. Yes, we have those friends/family that love us with everything they have and will do absolutely everything and anything to support us. What I mean by this lesson is, there may be something you want for yourself that others may find unattainable or ridiculous. Although they do love us and support us from afar, they do not have the same vision we may have for ourselves. But if they think it is unreachable or unattainable, they may think you’re crazy and can’t support what you’re doing because of their own limiting beliefs. Just keep it pushing and show them how attainable it really is.
4. WORK IN SILENCE- DONT REVEAL YOUR NEXT MOVE TO ANYONE/EVERYONE.
While there are those exciting moments that you want to scream it from the mountaintops what you are doing. Just don’t! Work in silence and avoid any limiting beliefs or doubts that others may place onto you. Also revealing your next move can hinder you rather than help you from my experiences.
5. POEPLE WILL MAKE TIME FOR WHO/WHAT THEY WANT.
This is self explanatory. If someone really wants to see you, catch up with you, spend time with you, they will. We all make a decision on how we want to spend our time and who we will make time for. I suggest you also think about who and what you spend your time on. I still struggle with this all the time, I can be wasting so much precious time on things that don’t matter when I could really be making time for things that will serve and mean something to me.
6. NOT EVERYONE WILL LIKE YOU NO MATTER HOW LIKEABLE/HELPFUL YOU TRY TO BE.
This is a hard lesson to learn especially if you are the people pleasing type like myself. It was just now that I was getting closer to 30 that I really started to learn and not care about whether people liked me or not. The only person you need to care that likes you is YOU. Love yourself everyday!
7. what others think of you is not your business.
Same as above, don’t worry about what others think of you. It’s none of your business and not your opinion. What others think/say about you shouldn’t matter because you know you better than anyone. When we are younger we hear someone is talking about us or spreading rumors and it really affects us but in all reality, what they say or think about you is none of your business and nor should it matter.
8. CONTINUE TO WORK ON BETTERING YOURSELF.
There is always room for growth! Never get comfortable or get stagnant. Continuously learn and work at evolving into a better you. There is always so much more to learn and evolve into the best you that you can be.
9. don't let fear hold you back - do it!
Fear is the most common hinderance. We always come up with these different reasons to justify why we can’t do something but it always comes back to fear holding us back.
10. THe storms are necessary to bring out the rainbow.
This wouldn’t be life if we didn’t walk through the storms to get where we want to be. We were never promised a perfect struggle free life and it’s super hard to come to terms with that but life will test you forever. Rather than focusing on the storm, focus on how to get through the storm.
11. Never regrets, only lessons learned.
As we go through different hardships, I think it’s important to reflect on what we should be learning from mistakes we make rather than regretting that we made a mistake. There is no use in carrying regrets, but we should be always look at the lessons we learned.
12. Change can be hard but its necessary to grow.
Change is super hard and I still struggle with it ALL THE TIME. Sometimes a fire has to be lit from under me to get me to take that step. But if we ever want to grow or evolve in this life, we have to make changes that are going to be hard and challenge us. In the end it’s always worth it!
13. Stand and speak up for yourself.
I remember times where I would get put into situations in which I hoped and believed my friends/family/colleagues/leadership would stand up for me when it was in my best interest. But unfortunately many times it has been proven that others will look out for themselves before others so don’t expect others to speak/stand up for you. You HAVE to do that for YOURSELF because you are the only one who knows what’s best for you.
14. Be grateful always - especially for the small things.
I love the small things and they never go unnoticed. Think about times in which someone has done something so small for you but it’s always so meaningful and you never forget it. They matter and I am always grateful for small things. We don’t need all these big grandeur gestures or materialistic items, its the small meaningful things and gestures that matter.
15. Hug and love your loved ones, we are all on borrowed time.
This really resonates with me on another level. If you are new here, my dad passed away a few years ago. It was sudden and still so hard to believe. I tell everyone all the time to appreciate their loved ones while they are still here, even those annoying things they do because I miss those things everyday! I also lost my best friend when we were 22 which was one of the hardest losses! I miss all the memories and all the future memories we would have made.
16. If you get knocked down, re-evaluate and then get back up.
Resilience in any situation is so important. No matter how many times you get knocked down, you need to evaluate why you are getting knocked down, get back up and keep going. I feel we need to reframe or rethink abut how to get over the hurdle before succeeding.
17. Set boundaries for yourself and stand by them.
Boundaries are hard to set but when you draw that line out in the sand, people have no choice but to oblige. People will always try to take advantage of you if it makes their lives easier, but if you are able to set those healthy boundaries, you have nothing else to worry about. It also helps people respect you more when you are able to set boundaries for yourself and your time.
18. Be kind always.
I live by this! Kindness costs nothing and doesn’t take much. It also goes a long way because we don’t know what someone else is going through. That small act of kindness can turn around an entire day for someone.
19. One step at a time.
I know I like to always be thinking wayyyyy ahead in the future. This results in me trying to jump steps rather than taking it one step at a time. No matter how many steps you try to jump and hop over, you will probably get kicked back even further. Take life one step at a time and you will get to your destination no longer how quickly it’s accomplished.
20. No need to feel guilty for outgrowing certain individuals/friendships.
Just within the last couple of years I have really been evaluating my friendships both past and current. There are many people in which I am still friends with but I am not in the same stage of life as them so we kind of disconnect. There is nothing wrong with this and there is no need to feel guilty or try to force a relationship with that person. We are all going through life and we may not be at the same stages, we evolve and become different people. It’s not that they are not my friends anymore, they are just not CLOSE friends of mine and that’s okay. I keep my circle small and grow and evolve with my friends through different seasons of life.